Am I allowed to call it a farm yet? We are still in the dreaming phase BUT there has been what feels like a big step forward… Since the last blog post, we have decided we DO in fact want backyard birds. Not chickens, but ducks! I LOVE eggs but am not such a fan of chickens. Apparently, my late father loved chickens and kept of his own back in the day, but it looks like I didn’t inherit that particular trait. Now, ducks on the other hand…they’re elegant, smart, fortified against infection, and are just as good egg layers as chickens (fun facts: duck eggs are generally 20% larger than chicken eggs and the laying lifespan is more than twice as long). Not to mention they require minimal shelter, even in cold weather climates. Making this one decision felt like a small triumph as I’ve been losing sleep over the gargantuan task of how to begin implementing what I envision for this place. Now that we’ve answered this first question, though, others have been raised. And whack-a-mole always gave me low-level anxiety… But next up is figuring out what specific breed of duck we want. In my countless hours of research on youtube, homestead blogs, and Storey’s Guide to Raising Ducks (and no, they are not sponsors of this blog), I’ve found that 2 breeds are generally the most popular: Khaki Campbells and Pekins. The Khaki Campbells are considered to be excellent layers and the Pekins are good layers and good to eat. And while I don’t at all judge those who raise their backyard animals for meat, that’s not my purpose here. I’m wayyyy to squeamish (and emotional), and I’ve pretty much phased out eating land-animal meat this year anyway. Naturally, I’ve been researching how and where to buy Khaki Campbells but the only option I’ve found is purchasing them online from farms all over the country and getting them shipped to me when they’re just a few days old. Yes, this is a thing. I’m not kidding. I’ve read about it in so many Facebook groups, blogs, and even the memoir Flat Broke With Two Goats. If you type “buy baby ducks near me” into your search engine, I guarantee the first options that pop up are an online transaction that ends with you showing up at your post office and picking up your cardboard box full of baby chicks or ducklings. This doesn’t feel like the best option for me for a few reasons.

1. The USPS hasn’t been doing so well lately in terms of delivering things on time. I’d feel horrible if my ducklings got lost in transit and died. Nope. No thanks.
2. The online retailers often require a minimum purchase of 10 ducklings. That’s quite a lot for newbies like us.
3. I’m really interested in getting to know and support the farms near me, even if they’re an hour or two away.

SO! This means I may not be able to get Khaki Campbells. But Pekins are still a great choice and are more readily available. (For reference, the prototype for Daffy Duck and the mascot for AFLAC are both Pekins. And the ducklings are what you probably imagine baby ducks to look like; yellow and fuzzy and crazy cute.) They’re on the large size, which would help me worry less about predatory birds snatching them from above. And Sadie would probably be scared of them and keep away. (Not that we’ll let them mingle! The ducks have a completely fenced in yard around their coop.) I was able to find a farm about 45 minutes away that advertises Pekin ducklings for sale starting in the spring, and I contacted the farmer straight away. She said they’ll have Pekin babies in mid April and possibly some other breeds as well. And if we wanted to buy just 3, that’s totally fine with her and such a bargain for us! ($6 per duckling. Which is roughly what I pay for a dozen organic eggs!) It helps to have a general date in mind, too. There are some preparations we have to make, like reinforcing the latch on the fence to their pen. And getting a predator-safe door for the coop and a ramp leading to the ground. And since we’ll get the ducklings when they’re very young, they’ll require an indoor brooder that needs to be watched closely and cleaned every day. Isn’t is lucky that Sadie was already confined to the downstairs?! This means that I can put the ducklings in the upstairs bathroom for the first 3-4 weeks and not worry. (Or maybe I’ll go full Mama Bear and bring their pen into our bedroom or my office so I can keep a closer eye and cuddle them!) Then there are the provisions we need to acquire, like duckling feed and hay for their bedding once they move outside. And we’re looking for a vet who works with livestock should something go wrong and we nubes don’t know how to fix it!

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In other updates, I’ve been busier than almost ever before with music. I did another virtual concert for Bay Street Theater (if you want to check them out in the future, stay tuned to the “music” tab on this site or on my Instagram page). I love those events, even though I don’t get the experience of connecting with a live audience. They’re hosted on Zoom and some viewers type little messages to me or each other throughout, and then at the end we often stay signed on to chat or raise a glass. There’s a different kind of intimacy now with these online performances, mostly because we’re usually all in our homes! Sadie and Alan sometimes make appearances and I’ve seen the same in videos by other musicians and actors.

I’m also getting ready for an interview with WLIW, NPR’s Long Island station. The show is hosted by John Landes, a jazz buff and also a personal friend of mine. He asked me to provide some of my vocal recordings which will be played throughout the segment, and I’ve been busy getting some ready. There are one or two from previous live shows, but I want to get some really solid and more recent ones. I reached out to two of my favorite musicians to work with, Jane Hastay and Peter Martin Weiss, and we’ve been sending ideas and tracks back and forth via Zoom and GarageBand. A few days ago as I was bouncing from a call with them to recording a song for my mother’s virtual church service to connecting with The Buttery Barmaids about our latest music video, Alan stopped me and asked me to just take a look at what my life is these days. We’d had a conversation the night before about the ducks and I shared with him all the fun and random facts I’d learned. I’d been feeling a little out of my depth and sheepish but he pointed out that everyone starts out knowing nothing and I’d already learned a lot in the short time since we’d decided to raise ducks. And then the next day amid the preparations for the upcoming interview, I told him again that I was wrestling with some feelings that I can only assume were impostor syndrome. Or maybe it’s the Identity question, which seems to haunt me regardless of how busy I am in whatever I try. I know that Covid has made so many people take a magnifying glass to their life and analyze what they’re doing with their time. I’m no different, except perhaps I’ve been asking myself the question since well before the pandemic. It seems strange but while I can say I’m good at something and even get paid to do it, I still struggle with believing I have a right to be at the table. To call myself a singer. Is this because I maybe wasn’t the world’s best auditioner and didn’t get cast in a big Broadway musical before leaving the city? For a while I called myself an actor but was I good even though I didn’t star in a TV show and eventually got dropped by my agents? The years between the acting or singing jobs chipped away at my sense of identity and worth; I know that now. And here I am adding another vulnerable layer to that identity as I dive into the new world of animal husbandry and homesteading. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times when I ask myself, “What am I doing?”

Next time, I hope to have some solid work done on the duck pen to share with you. It’s been snowing up here pretty regularly and the ground is frozen, so we’re limited in what we can do. Besides, our tools which were more than sufficient for apartment living are hardly up to big-scale projects. So there will be many more trips to Home Depot and Tractor Supply to get this place duck-ready! Stay tuned for when to hear the radio interview and where to see the latest band video. It’s definitely worth watching, if I do say so myself…