Two weeks ago I posted that I drove upstate to check out 3 or 4 houses that our realtor had set up. I had so many feelings that morning in the car; nervous excitement, hope, giddiness, and disbelief (was this really happening??!!). I wished Alan could have been with me to see everything I was about to see, but with his intense work schedule that just wasn’t possible on a weekday. So I drove the 3 hours up north in my Honda, listening to jazz on the radio and trying to stay chill.

The first house I had high hopes for. I’d just seen it on Zillow a few days earlier and we were able to squeeze in a last minute viewing during my visit. It was beautiful at first sight as I pulled into the driveway; a little close to downtown and the neighbors but definitely more private than Brooklyn! The property was a decent size with room in the back for Sadie to run around. I couldn’t quite picture the pastoral scene I’d imagined for our future home, but I was willing to be flexible. And then I went inside and changed my mind. As beautiful as old houses can be, they are also high maintenance and this one looked to be pretty neglected. Floors and ceilings sloping in all directions, broken tiles, broken windows, and… what was that musky smell? I knew I wanted to give our new home a lot of TLC but I didn’t think we were up for this.

On to the next one. Perfectly restored 18th century small farmhouse. A few sizable bedrooms (we’re crossing our fingers that our friends and family come to visit a lot!), and a kitchen I would love to cook Thanksgiving dinner in. There were no neighbors in sight but it was on a major road, so there would be a concern about Sadie and traffic… We could build a fence, though. The land was pretty; a small patch of woods next to seldom-used train tracks. It could work! Then we looked in the basement… even with my limited knowledge of structural soundness I knew those dark wet spots on the ground were a bad sign. The runoff from the slope down from the tracks meant that the ground under our house would constantly be wet and may cause rot down the road. Sigh.

House 3. Or should I say… THE SWEETEST AND HAPPIEST HOUSE EVER. Now, our realtor had discovered this one the week before and could barely contain her excitement. She emailed me the listing and asked if she could check it out herself and do a walkthrough with me on FaceTime. To be honest, Alan and I wanted to wait another few weeks to start looking in earnest. We have our lease in Brooklyn to consider, as well as his new job that isn’t slated to start until the new year. But we decided it wouldn’t hurt to spend the 30 minutes on the virtual tour, so we agreed to the walk through. I smiled the whole time. She walked us through each room so we could see the pristine molding, the loving care that had been put into the maintenance of the original floors and windows, and- speaking of windows- the stained glass in the kitchen! There was a cozy office for each of us, a sun room where I could do yoga, and over 3 acres of woods behind the house. I imagined my bee hives, my goat pen, our daily walks in our woods with Sadie, and the campfires at night under the stars. From our virtual view, there was nothing we could find that was wrong with it. SO…when I arrived in person the week after I knew there was a lot to live up to. I was doing my best to manage my expectations and walk in with a businesswoman’s savvy. Before I did, I took out my phone and started video documenting it to show to Alan later. Somehow I knew I wanted him to see it “with me” during my first live experience.

Since then I’ve rewatched the videos myself, to remember the layout or just to revisit it and I am so darn goofy in them! I’m like a kid in a candy store, saying “Oooooh, look at this!” or “Omg this is so cool!” or “I could totally see us sitting right here.” Funny too, that our realtor just sat outside the whole time and let me have my space to take it in for myself. (She knew.) I didn’t really want to leave but we had another viewing set up and didn’t want to be late. I called Alan from the car since it was over 30 minutes to the next house. From what I remember I was pretty blunt and said unless that next house I was headed toward was beyond belief then we should make an offer on the one I just left. He asked if I thought it was a good option for us or if it was livable, or something like that. And I said, “I’m sure beyond the shadow of a doubt.” And this is why my husband is so cool. He trusted that I could make this decision for both of us; arguably one of the biggest we could ever make. So when I went to that fourth house and kept negatively comparing it to the Happy House, I made the call. And made the offer.

And they said yes!

Side note, why does buying a house feel like online dating? You look at a profile, you start to imagine your future and fill in the blanks. You hope that the real-life version is better than the avatar. Then you fall in love and make your bid and wait and hope that it’s accepted and you become… an item? And that decision, that step, shapes everything that comes after. Case in point, since the offer was accepted and we’ve continued down the road of buying the Happy House, my design ideas have shifted. My brainstorming about the property and its possibilities has expanded. Our plans about how we’ll spend our evenings is changing. I also can’t sleep because I’m too excited and shocked that this crazy, wonderful idea that we had 3 months ago has led to a major life shift.

As I’ve said, I’m new to this whole process. When I was in the dating world, I tended to get a little over-excited and jump the gun. (Did I mention that I proposed to Alan after we’d been dating one year?) So I know that there’s a lot that could happen before it’s official and we move into the Happy House. Though, wherever we are, it’s always going to be a happy home.